Sitting At A Red Light

I awake to one of my favorite Johnny Lang's songs, Red Light, (second to "Lie to Me"),

"You sing a song,
While sitting at a red light,
You think of home,
While sitting at a red light...

when Lisa's GREEN light goes off--Oh S*@t!! I've overslept!! I'm quite certain I threw my scrubs on, brushed my teeth, whipped my hair up in a ponytail, slapped on some mascara, and gobbled down my new favorite white macadamia nut cliff bars (a must buy, by the way) in less than 5 minutes as Johnny Lang's lyrics are still lingering in the silence and fog of my brain,

"You can run a red light,
Give up at a red light,
You break the mold,
When running through the tolls,
Speeding through your whole life"

Gosh, darn it Johnny, you are right!! I'm gonna HAVE to run all the red lights if I'm gonna make a stop at Caribou on my way to work!! Let's get moving!!

Of course, as I sprinted down the 3 flights of stairs, through the parking lot, I realized I forgot my work badge in my room. Back up the stairs, (I am getting warmer by the second), only to discover my key has been deactivated and will not open my door. UGH!!! Run around the building, get a new key, and repeat the above steps. Grrh...I finally get in my car, and Red Light is playing on the local radio station. Coincidence? I think not. THis time I found myself sitting at a Red Light, in despair, really getting to listen to the lyrics and ponder this whole Red Light craze. The lyrics combined with his sexy voice really are brilliant.  So brilliant, that I will give you one more exerpt:

A chance to breathe ,
While sitting at a red light,
You look around
reflecting on your life

And while sitting at my 3rd Red Light of the morning, I begin to ponder because of a conversation I had with two strangers while sitting at a bar, watching game 7 of the World Series. Ponder about the past. Ponder about my Decisions. My Friendships. My Relationships. My Work. My Dreams. My Aspirations. My Location. My Everything. However in that minute, I found myself stuck on my relationship status. Funny how a song can create these moments...

And funny how I found myself wishing for 1 more Red Light... as on this day, my "ah-ha" moment hit me at my red light. I want to fall madly in love again...and let go of the one that got away.....---brrrh!! I catch the crisp wind brushing my face as I run into work, sipping my Caribou Pomegranate Vanilla Tea Latte Fusion...looking forward to my next Red Light.

Interesting how life has become so busy that we have forgotten how to think and gather our thoughts on our drive to work, school, or home. Instead we are lost in the shuffle of life. I remember the days long before I had a cell phone, those drives were some of the most peaceful, mind settling times. I miss that. I crave that. I NEED that. As I think we all probably do. So the next time you are attempting to beat the light: STOP! and "sing a song" at a red light.

Tomorrow: Take a moment to ponder at a Red Light. I bet you have an "Ah-ha" moment.

Directions: Who Needs 'em anyway??

People often think because I travel for work full time that I must have a 'built in' sense of direction. Boy do I have them fooled. After 30 plus years of frustration, countless hours driving in circles, dodging questions about what took me so long to get to my destination, I must confess: I am directionally challenged. Probably the worst you will ever meet. Period. What can I say? God did not bless me with a built in compass like most; not even one that works on occasion!!  One would think between Mr. Garmin, back up mapquest maps, an atlas (just for props, I have no idea how to read one), and whoever dares to back me up in my Co-pilot seat, that I would never get lost. Not true. Not even close! Ask Carrie Coufal how many times we got lost on our road trip to Virgina...after seeing a deer hurdle and clear a car in front of us in Kentucky, following a 20 mile winding road in West Virgina at the raging speed of 25 mph (I mean why would we stay on the interstate, the Garmin said to turn Right, turn right), we finally resorted to Alice (my shih-poo) for advice!!

Lesson #1: pick one resource and follow it to a 'T'. Do not try to combine mapquest, with atlas, with Garmin's advice...Have faith in the one you have chosen and go with it. Kind of like a significant other. That's another blog.

So after all these years of being lost, I have just one question: What is wrong with being lost? Throwing the map out the window and just going for it? Don't we already spend enough time planning? Take it from an expert, being lost is an adventure that can be liberating. You wouldn't believe how nice people can be. I can't name the number of times where rolling down my window, confessing that "I am lost" has led to dinners, drinks, friendships, coffee dates, and best of all memories.  This doesn't just happen in my car, it happens when traveling anywhere with me. While in Italy and Costa Rica being lovestruck by the beauty of the land and culture, asking for directions led to dinner with strangers who are now friends, mingling in language and culture, and the spectacular 'hidden' views that were not listed on the local travel maps. And this is where the "Serendipit-You" comes into play. Sometime soon: throw the map out the window, the planner in the purse, and just go exploring. Take your friend, a spouse, or go solo...at the very least, it will lead to great conversation or alone time for you. I promise you won't regret it.

On a side note, you know what the most interesting aspect of all this is? I ALWAYS get to where I am going. Kind of how life works. We may not all be where "we thought we would be at at the ripe old age of ___, 32 for me, but you know what? We will all get there. Some of us just chose to ask for directions, while others take the scenic route. Some can't help the built in compass that they have, while others long for it. But we all have a journey, a destiny, a vision.

Tonight: remember a time when you were lost. I bet you smile...maybe even laugh out loud.

Life: It's Your Picture; Paint it.

The pictures above were all taken this Summer while working in Minot and hanging out with the family. It had been nearly 13 years since I last lived "at home." Where does the time go? These are just a few of the many people I hold close to my heart. If you don't see your face up there. Don't be sad, I will get your toophers on film. All the more reason to whip the camera out and start snapping more!

I've never considered myself to be a writer, definitely a thinker, but not a writer. But often times, I find myself lying awake at night, thinking, rehashing the day, going over my to-lists, trying to figure out what to do next, where to go, planning life, ...finally I have decided to just write about it to find out if I am the only one with a racing mind, or if others really are as crazy as me? What's funny though, is after all that thought, I find myself wanting to drop it all, buy a one way ticket, and just LIVE. Live without plans. Without a schedule. Without a purpose. To simply just live. See where life takes me. To explore the unknown. To think clearer. To breathe slower. To feel stronger. To love deeper. To live richer... I have this sense of there is a 'bigger purpose' for me out there. I'm not sure what it is, but it is there waiting for me to discover it. Having just turned 32, there are many societal pressure I am faced with: marriage, children, becoming a home owner, savings, investing... Some may think I am pretty far behind seems how I am single, childless, homeless... But I view this as part of my "Serendipit-Me." I have yet to discover who my husband is going to be, or how many children I am going to Mother, but in the mean time, I am gonna take on my dreams and drink freely and deeply from the cup of life. Feelings. Compassion. Exploration. Experience. Language. Travel. And thus begins my blog.

Back to reality. Turns out we all need to work as we have house payments, car payments, phone bills, internet bills, gas, groceries... Have you ever wondered what it is you would do if money were not an issue and you could do anything? ANYTHING?? Think about that for a good long minute. And now for another long minute.. or two. At first this seems like an easy question to answer, "Well I would travel. Volunteer. Spend time with my family." But at the end of the day, we would all crave a purpose. I have come up with what I would do. I would take pictures. Not that I have any training or even a camera that costs more than $150, but I would take pictures. I think I have a knack for catching people "in the moment." or a moment "in a moment". This must be the "older and wiser" in me...pheewf! signs I have matured.  My dream existence would be to travel the world, take pictures of life unfolding before my eyes, learn bits and pieces of several languages, and sell them as wall hangings, greeting cards, and of course decorate my house in my version of Candyland. So why am I not doing it? Good question. I am going to find a way to make at least part of this happen. Step #1: Buy a good camera. I will do this before I leave Minneapolis. 

Tonight, ponder what it is you would do. If you can dream it. You can do it.