Paris: Days 1 and 2

Paris Day 1:

Kicked our ass!!! We basically spent the entire day lost. After arriving around 0800 with a jet lag hangover in tow, we caught the metro to the 'vicinity' of where we thought our rental apartment was. Turns out it is quite difficult to make plans to meet a French lady when we have no way to communicate except email!! After lugging around my 30 lbs back pack, in 75 degree weather, sweating my ass off in my jeggings, ready to give up on our French chauffeur, a petite lady comes running through the street yelling, "Bon Jour! Bon Jour!" There is a God!! Our long lost land lady found us. She looked a little mortified when she saw the third person leaning on the wall beside us and exclaimed, "Oh, zere's 3 of zyou?"

 I didn't understand what she meant until we finally reached our cracker box 'apartment' on the top floor of the building. I was so winded by the time I reached the top of the endless, windy, stairwell one would think I had just ran the 100 yard dash while holding my breath. Welcome to our pad for the next 5 days...

Yes, that is a bed for 2!! The door leads to the bathroom.

The Kitchen :) and I thought mine was small...

 After a quick change of clothes, some deodorant, perfume, and a tooth brushing session, we were eager to set out and explore Paris. Needless to say, the only places we managed to find were: The Louvre and Notre Dame. Worth the time spent lost, but so not how I envisioned my first day in Paris.

Oh and we did manage to find the original Mona Lisa painting...

It's 8pm and we were so exhausted we could hardly keep our eyes opened at dinner. Having arrived at 0800 Paris time, with no sleep, no idea how to understand or speak French, ride the train,  or catch the bus, here we sit in our midget sized apartment, feeling rather frustrated. My feet are swollen and blistered (already!), my hair is so greasy it looks wet, my eyes are glazed over in pure exhaustion. As I sit in my dazed out stated, I find myself staring at an old bottle of wine the previous renters left behind. Oh did I mention the bottle is half gone? We don't care, wine is wine. We will drink it. I must admit--I am a bit scared and frustrated tonight. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Cheers to blistered feet, a shower, and the adventure that lies ahead!!

4 French Words I learned today:
1) Bon Jour: Hello
2) Merci: Thank You
3) Sortie: Exit
4) Perdon: Excuse me

4 lessons I learned today:
1. Maps of all kinds are ESSENTIAL! train, bus, city...
2. If we see a wine/liquor store... STOP and buy something! (they are hard to come by)
3. If we see a tourist attraction nearby: go and check it out while there, don't "come back later."
4. Everyone smoke is Paris. PERIOD.

PARIS DAY 2:

Was AMAZING!!! Wow, where to start?? Woke up early today only find out the water has been shut off for 8 hours. WHAT??? Seems how I hadn't showered in 2 days and my hair was already so greasy it looked wet-- I did the next best thing. Turns out, all it takes is a pot, 1 liter of bottled water, and an 'assistant' to suds, rinse, and give myself a bed bath!! Absolutely one of the funniest scenarios I have managed to get myself into in a long time. Still makes me giggle out loud.

First stop after bed bath: Tuilles garden. A peaceful part with numerous water fountains, flowers, and one-of-a-kind people watching. I could've sat there all day long, but was glad I didn't.

From the park, we hoofed it to Arc De Triumph via Elysses.

We paid 9.5 Euro to climb the 284 steps to the top to view the beautiful city of Paris. It was worth every. single. step.

From there we ventured (with my blistered feet in tow) to the Latin District and the PanthEon.
 I forgot to mention, we have semi "mastered" the subway system today. Always such a cool feeling in making the transition from total tourist to 'getting a clue.' Upon leaving the PanthEon, on our way to the Metro station, I decided to stop and use a public 'outhouse' as we would call it in the U.S. Obviously everything is written in French and it is "French" to me, I pushed the green button, a door opened like an elevator (oh boy... everyone knows how much I adore elevators.) I went in, shut the door, popped a squat and started my business... When all of a sudden, the following took place simultaneously: alarms sounding as if I pulled a fire alarm or something, a French computerized voice yelling at me in French, the toilet itself raises and hits me in the bum, water starts spraying and the door opens to the busy street and the people standing in line for the bathroom!!! Oh my God!! So there I am in MID squat, MID pee, dress hiked up, panties around my knees, back pack and camera in tow, sunglasses balancing on the end of my nose, a startled face, scrambling to stop peeing and pull my pants up, as the city of Paris is getting a great view and the joys of laughing at a "Stupid American Tourist". MORTIFYING!! but at the same time, absolutely hilarious!!! It turns out, the outhouse is designed to "clean" itself like a car wash after each person uses it. Hence, why I guess I was supposed to wait to avoid the above. The funny thing was, the ladies behind me did not crack a grin, but instead, were upset, when I didn't go to the END of the line and went back in to finish what I had started!! I just had to go back and get a picture inside this coming of ages outhouse!!

The craziest toilet I've ever encountered. The entire toilet elevates!!

I'm quite certain I giggle all the way to the metro station. Next stop: Eiffel Tower. But first, we had to stop for a beer, buy a bottle of vino, and some snacks. We spent the next several hours at the Eiffel tower, lounging in a park, drinking wine, discussing life, taking pictures, people watching, and just taking in the beauty and serenity of it all from sunset to complete darkness.

I can't believe how far we've come. Yesterday, I felt helpless and scared. Today, I feel full of life and happiness. Some of us are just gypsies in life and fell at home when in the road. After buying an overpriced 2nd bottle of wine, we caught the metro back to our neighborhood, indulged in an amazing pizza, and decied to head home after a fun-filled day. Una problema--we got completely lost!! So bad that I even took out the map and attempted to figure out how to read it!! After walking around the same Arch 4 times, we finally realized we were stalking the wrong Arch!! (we live by a monumental landmark--a huge Arch) Finally after making several wrong turns and making it up the 5 flights of stairs, we have made it home. All the blisters, lines, mishaps, and wrong turns were worth it!! I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings. Pretty sure I am not going to want this trip to end... EVER!!

4 French Words I learned today:
1. Oui: Yes
2. Tabac: cigarettes
3. Poulette: Chicken
4. 1664: French Beer (give me a break... I'm wine buzzed and at a loss of words.)

Euro Trip!!

As I stated in my previous entry, I documented my entire European adventure; the good, the bad, the frustrations, the embarrassing moments... All of it. The next several entries will be taken directly from my hand written journal without editing so I can have the chance to relive my dream and hopefully inspire you to follow yours.

September 24, 2013
Fargo, ND

I sit here today in the Fargo, ND airport about to embark on a journey of a life time. A five week backpack trip through Europe. 12 countries, 35 days!! Yeeee!!! I'm excited, nervous, overjoyed, scared out of my mind giddy!! I'm going with an old friend (or should I say ex-boyfriend) doesn't matter. And no, there is absolutely no chance of rekindling an old flame. When I told people who I was going with, their eyes lit up like they had just won the lottery, quickly followed an obnoxious squeal, only to end with a confused look and awkward silence. Sadly, I am used to this chain of events as my life is quite random. To set the record straight, I am strictly tagging along because A) I've always wanted to go, B) Have never had anyone to go with, C) figured someone is better than no one, D) hoping time had allowed both of us to grow up, and E) valid proof that I don't believe in  grudges.

This entire trip came up spontaneously one day while I was out on a run on a hot August day. Feeling down and bummed out on life as my Asics pounded the pavement and I attempted to sing out loud to Nickeback's song, "If Today Were Your Last Day..." I pondered and evaluated my life after being back in ND, "my home,"for over a year. The longer I thought about it, the more sad I became. My heart and mind have been longing for Hawaii and the life I had there since the day I left. Deep down, I've been hoping and praying these feelings would fade away or just blatantly disappear. However, my thoughts and memories are much like that of red wine spilled on white carpet. The harder you scrub to remove the stain, the more the wine bleeds, the bigger the stain, until eventually the entire area is a subtle hue of pink. Forever stained and changed..but in a good way. (Speaking from experience, as I am the proud owner of white carpet stained Pinot Noir.)

"If today were your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
REgardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side..."

Fast forward 1 month as I sit here at Gate 2. Fargo--> Minneapolis--> Boston---> Paris. EEEK!!I've always said, "Why does it take a death sentence for people to go out and LIVE their dreams?" So here's to living life to the fullest, taking risks, and checking things off my bucket list!!! I cannot even believe this is really happening. Do I have everything? Passport, Credit Card, Debit Card, Cash, Camera... take a deep breath Lisa. If you forgot anything else, you can buy it in Europe.

Funny tidbit about this morning. Mom and Dad picked me up at home, we were held up by Blinking Red Lights and firetrucks speeding down 45th St, missed our turn to the airport, and almost got pulled over for making a left turn on a red light. (In our defense, we sat there for 4 minutes and the light never did change.) Then, as I was checking in at the Delta counter, the ticket man could not have been more annoyed or impatient with my giddy nervousness. After being scolded once for not listening to his instructions, twice for asking a question, in the midst of my third question I suddenly felt a vibrating sensation. Where in the world was that coming from? I looked around with a blank look on my face. Was it my purse? Nope. My passport book? Nope. The ticket printer? Nope.  I felt my pockets. Wasn't my phone. What the heck was going on?? I didn't dare ask the man for fear of being scolded a third time. I glanced at my Mom. Back at the ticket guy. Hmmmm.... I could not for the life of me figure out what was causing the ticket stand to vibrate. As I darted my eyes back and forth between my Mom and the ticket guy like a gecko on the run,  I turned and stared at the conveyer belt, thinking there MUST be something wrong with it? Or maybe this was a new security thing? The stern faced guy gave me a glare, shook his head, as my Mom gave me a puzzled look and said, "Is that your toothbrush?" Laughing hysterically, I realized my Sonicare was vibrating my entire 30 lbs bag like a mini earthquake. I'm quite certain my Mom and I laughed uncontrollably for the next 5 minutes. The kind where you snort and drool and gasp for air. Airport: 1, Lisa: 0. Ticket man: Speechless.

As the same ticket guy is announcing last call for boarding, (Still straight faced and cranky) I am feeling alive for the first time since I quit travel nursing. Yeeee!!! I'm quite certain, I skipped onto the airplane. 2 more stops and I'm in Paris!!

Finally got to Boston, met up with my travel friend, grabbed our last American beer and appetizer. I called each and one of my family member one last time, left messages, and turned my phone off for the next 35 days. Here we go!!! Next stop: Paris!!!!

We are about 4 hours from Paris. I completely forgot on international flights, it's all the free wine and beer a giddy traveler can handle. I'm about 4 glasses of red wine in. I best cut myself off. I'd hate to end up spending my first day in Paris in bed! ETA: 0800.

Head phones on, wine buzz intact, and Nickelback words singing me to sleep... "Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind. And try to take the path less traveled by. That first step you take is the longest stride...."   zzzzzzzzzzz..........

Here's being forever stained and changed, much like red wine on white carpet... only in a good way!

Tonight: Ponder if today were your last day. Would you be content or finally set out and make your dreams come true? Never let people, fear, or money prevent you living your dreams. I'm sure not, so why should you?

Taking Things for...

...GRANITE: durable, unbreakable, strong, resistant.

Words I would use to describe my Mother, who I often call in times of need, frustration, anger, and  happiness. She is my rock, my foundation. The person who holds the family together. The one who made sure we always made it to school on time, had our homework done, made it to church every Sunday, had Halloween costumes and Valentine boxes, she was the ride to and from practices, the one to help with science projects and reading play scripts, the caretaker when we fell sick... The most selfless, kindhearted, giving person I know. Not sure how I got blessed enough to be her daughter, sometimes in life, we are lucky enough to be dealt a winning hand.

Still to this day, she is the one I call for advice, support, or just to vent, offering advice on everything from relationship struggles to buying my first house. I don't know where I'd be without her. Thank you, Mom!!

No matter how resistant I was to 'the rules' or begged to stay in town at a friend's house, my Mom never seemed to show an ounce of weakness. Regardless of how rude and mean a teenager can be, she was like GRANITE.

Durable. Unbreakable. Strong. Resistant.

It's funny how in life, when we were young, we viewed our parents indestructable. Powerful. As if they weren't allowed to have a bad day or a 'breakdown.' I can think of very few times, if any, that I saw my Mom break down and cry. Now having two sisters and many friends that are parents themselves, it's interesting to hear their stories of frustrations, not knowing what to do or where to turn at times, desperately seeking advice from others, and having moments where they do break down and cry, while portraying the strong, unbreakable role of Mom and Dad.

Now to the other side of the coin...

Taking things for...

GRANTED... Soft. Fragile. Breakable. Delicate.

The 0600 alarm beeping, the sun coming up and going down, going to work, friends, family, vacations, our health, our Moms, our Dads...

After almost a year and a half being back home, I found myself feeling down and bummed out on life as my Asics pounded the pavement to Nickelback's  song, "If Today Were your Last Day." Having moved home from Hawaii a year ago, employed as a permanent nurse instead of a travel nurse, a homeowner instead of a renter, life was not at all how I pictured it when I decided to 'settle' down. My dating life resembles that of a natural disaster: strong emotion with long lasting heartache. Being husbandless and childless has really hit me hard since returning to Fargo. Especially since both of my sisters and many of my friends have had babies in the last year. I've had moments where I feel like the yellow starburst of the package. You know, the one that nobody wants until that's all that's left? The one that gets pushed aside, thrown away, forgotten about. Ha! Funny, but sadly has a hint of truth to it. So as Nickelbacks words pushed me into mile 3: Oh heck, you might as well take a listen with me: you never know, you just may end up booking that ticket to somewhere wonderful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrXIQQ8PeRs

"If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?"

The more I listened to the words, the more I turned the volume up. The harder I thought about the message, the faster I ran, the more I thought: What if today were my last day? Would I be content with my life as I know it? Would my family know how much I love them? The questions came pouring in like a class V rapid. And I knew life was about to change... for the better.

 

That 5 mile run on a hot August day changed my life forever. Funny how we all have SO much to be thankful for--yet we find things in our life to dwell on and feel bad about. In that moment, I made a choice to magnify the good in my life. I have my health, a good job, single hood, freedom... so why not EMBRACE it? Take advantage of it? Stop taking it for 'granite'? Lost in thought and my dreams, I was suddenly done with mile 5 working on number 6, and for the first time in a long time was feeling inspired and excited. Now just what was it I was going to do with this refreshed outlook on life??

Enter Europe. Let me explain how this dream trip became a reality. While I was out on my 5 mile run, an old college friend who had just recently moved back to Fargo from Las Vegas, happened to recognize me and sent me a message on facebook. After catching up over the usual chit chat, my eyes widened when he said he was going to Europe for 5 weeks. Instantly, he had my FULL attention. When are you leaving? Where are you going? Can I join you??? He was leaving in 3 weeks. Hmmm... How can I make this happen?? I thought there is NO way I would be able to get the time off of work. Having been unhappy at my job and thinking there was no way I was going to be granted that much vacation time, I decided was going to quit my job and go fulfill my life long dream of backpacking Europe! It seemed logical to me, but many thought I had fallen off my rocker!


With Nickelback's words ringing in my head,

"So do whatever it takes,
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way,
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side."

I decided to move forward with my decision.

When somethings meant to be, it's fascinating how things just fall into place. I went to work the next day and decided I was going to break the news to my boss. (not an easy task, as she is probably one of the most intimidating people I know.) I took a deep breath, told myself I was not crazy, and entered her office. Who was I kidding? I was as nervous as I was the day I took my nursing boards as well as completely oblivious to what the outcome was going to be. With sweaty palms and my heart racing, I laid it all out on the table.

"It's been a dream of mine to back pack Europe. I've been given the opportunity to go to Europe for 5 weeks and I've decided I am going to take it, (as my heart is beating faster and my entire body has broken out in a nervous sweat) So, I am wondering what my options are: Do I need to put my notice in? Can I go PRN? Or can I take a leave of absence?" Followed by the world's longest, awkward silence. The silence I swear went on for an eternity, while my mind raced at the thought of being unemployed.

The room fell so silent, it sounded as though my heart beat were on speaker phone. After a long, delayed silence and a day of deciding, my boss granted me a LEAVE OF ABSENCE!! In disbelief, I asked her to repeat what she said and the proceeded to almost faint! Yeeee!! I was going to Europe!!!


From there, everything fell into place as if it were meant to be. Most people were quite supportive, while others thought I was completely insane. Doing my best to avoid the nay-sayers, I found myself to be a jumbled ball of emotions: nervous, excited, on top the world. 35 days? What if I get homesick? What if I can't 'hack it' for that long? Can I survive the hostel life?.... Through my journey, I knew I would discover all the answers to my burning questions and learn more than what I ever thought possible. And I did just that.

Life's too short to be mad, sad, or down in the dumps. We all need to stop taking life for 'granite'. (Treating it like it's unbreakable. Strong. Durable.) and start viewing it like we did when we were kids. Do you remember what it was like to be so excited for the day to start, to go to school and see your friends, or sit in science class next to your crush,  or the anticipation of the big game? The days where you couldn't sleep because you were so excited? I miss that. I crave that. I need that. Perhaps I shall start living like that...

Having said that, some words I think we should all learn to live by.

If an opportunity presents itself, TAKE it. If you can dream it, you can do it.

And that is exactly what my next several entries will entail taken directly from the journal I wrote while abroad. So get comfy, grab a seat, and take a walk in my shoes with me during the ups and downs of my journey. I'm confident it will bring to tears of laughter and maybe even bring you tears of hope.

Life is a gift. Cherish it. Embrace it. Live it. And never take the people you care about most for 'granite' as we never know what tomorrow may bring.

Granite: durable, unbreakable, strong, resistant.
Granted: soft, fragile, breakable, delicate.

At the end of writing this, I attempted to make a list. I put granite on the left hand side of my paper and granted on the other. Lets just say, one side is completely empty while the other ran out of space. I'll let you ponder which is which.

Tonight: Ponder where you stand on my 'granite' vs 'granted' debate. Make a list. Check it twice. I bet you pick up the phone and call someone you love. I know I did.

Reflections...

 ... a constant reminder of our pasts, a reality of our present, and perhaps a glimpse into our future. Much like a photo can bring back a flash in time, create an instant and lasting memory, our reflections are a portrait of our lives

As I sit here, in a small quaint coffee shop, in a far different setting of sweaters, hats, boots, and scarves, I catch a glimpse of my blurred reflection interrupted by the cursive lettering of Bella Caffe. As I gaze out the window at the hunter's widows scurrying from door to door, I can't help but get swept up in my blur. A blur that takes me back to my last entry, where I sat in a coffee shop, ocean side, with salty ocean hair and sand stained skin. As the ocean breeze tousled my hair, the sound of the waves coupled with softness of the wind gave me goose bumps much like the crisp breeze is doing to me now.  The acoustic music coupled with the aroma of Twin Cities coffee takes me back to the moment when I knew it was time for me to go home.  A moment that I will forever remember as I took my last sip of Kona coffee. A moment where I knew my life as a gypsy was coming to an end. As an entire new life was about to begin...whether I fully understood that at the time or not.

Reflections...

It has been nearly 6 months since I have been back on the Mainland and what a 6 months it has been. (I have not written since Hawaii as I found myself to be in a state of shock, uninspired, and just plain lost) I still remember getting off the airplane and seeing my Mom drive up. Goosebumps of being home. Seeing a familiar face. Receiving a loving hug. A feeling we all crave. We all need. After getting re-acquainted with the family, it was time to rekindle my relationship with Fargo. A place I always said I would move back to, a place I have referred to as home. Yet a place I found myself scared to go back to. Funny how being on the road, moving every 3 months, and knowing no one did not scare me nearly as much as returning back to a place where I once called home. Strange? I know. But I knew life was not going to be the same as when I left, as everyone's life had moved on, changed, grew in different ways than my own. We were no longer college graduates in the pursuit of landing our dream job. Instead, my friends are now wives, mothers, care givers. I found myself to be a jumbled up ball of nerves, much how I felt in the Los Angeles airport the day I left for Hawaii. Scared. Confused. Waiting. Wondering. Anticipating.

 I remember vividly as a kid my Grandparents saying under their breath, "Where on Earth does the time go? I can't believe it's almost Summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter..." I used to think they were crazy as I found time to just tic by. However, the older I get, the more I agree. Yet another aspect of life our parents were "right" about. I just spent two and a half years on the road, traveling from city to city, job to job, apartment to apartment. Two and a half Years!! Don't get me wrong, There were times where the three months felt like weeks, whereas other times it felt like years. While I was lost and enjoying life in my little bubble, I felt as if time stood still. As there is something about an adventure that keeps a person youthful, spirited, and alive. Meeting new people, exploring different areas, trying unique food,  experiencing other cultures, starting a new job...all extremely addicting. Much like a smoker craves nicotine, an alcoholic craves a drink, I crave adventure and freedom. I have often been called a "gypsy". A term that I once took offense to. A term that I now own and am proud of. As I've met countless people who tell me that I have changed and touched their lives in ways I will never truly understand. I've found, I like that. I crave that. And need that. "A gypsy soul"... now makes me smile and day dream and wonder if I will find that same addiction back "home."

Back to reality...

As it turns out, time did not stand still. My sun-kissed highlites are actually silver hairs, my temporary squint in reality are fine wrinkles, and my once flexible body seems to be a bit stiff and rigid. Funny how when you are surrounded by people who are in the same chapter of life as yourself, we tend to overlook the changes taking place around us. It wasn't until I moved back to the Midwest did I suddenly feel 33. As it turns out, everyone and everything thing around me has grown older and wiser. My baby sister is now a wife and Mother to be, My older sister became a mom for the second time, my grandma turned 90, my puppy is no longer a puppy, even the house where I grew up seems older, creakier, almost vintage. Suddenly my carefree life no longer seems so carefree. Instantly, I feel old, claustrophobic.

But as life on the Mainland tends to be, I did not even have time to acknowledge my thoughts. I hardly had enough time to unpack before I packed my life back up and moved to Fargo to start my travel assignment. Shortly thereafter, I was brought to tears while watching my sister marry the love of her life in Custer, SD:

and then just a few weeks later, be a part of Miss Tara's wedding:

...Where I found myself. Waiting. Wondering. Anticipating...when is it going to be my turn? After all, I've been blessed to be in so many weddings, I have a dress in every color of the rainbow, except for one...the most important one. The one that's supposed to mean forever. Last forever. Lost in thought, I found myself trying not to blink as I felt my eyes welling up with tears. Tears of happiness. Tears of sadness. Tears of the unknown. Waiting. Wondering. And still anticipating.

Then a quick trip on the 4th of July to visit my cousin, Jennifer, and the lovely city of Boston. I must say, I was quite taken from the very beginning. I hope to visit again soon.

Next came my Sweet Grandma's 90th birthday party. A 2 day event as it should be for such a special lady.

Reflections...

As much as I wanted to stay on my never ending carnival ride, it was time to hang it up. Call it quits. Open a new door..

A door that opens to... my very own house. Yes, if there is one quality I gained as a travel nurse it is to jump into life head first. Why rent when I can own? To be quite honest, I never imagined in a million years I would be buying a house by myself. I guess I always envisioned doing it with my husband. A happy yet eye opening experience. Having said that, my offer was accepted on my 33rd birthday and I was able to celebrate with my parents and cousin, Josh at the Hodo. A feeling I won't soon forget. Goosebumps. Butterflies. Tears of happiness. Tears of sadness. Tears of the unknown. But a decision I won't ever regret as I simply now have a place to call home. A place to call mine. An expression of me, of who I am, and about who I plan to become.

Now I do not want to paint a picture that I was all put together and knew the first thing about buying a house.  To be quite honest, I knew as much about buying a house as I do about reading a map...absolutely NOTHING. However, I did have 3 "musts" and rules I made with my realtor upon meeting him at 'hello'. (Bless his heart) Number 1: I wanted something unique, different...maybe even a bit quirky like me. Secondly, it had to be affordable. And lastly: it must be an easy re-sell. Check. Check. and Check...I hope!

After looking at what seemed to be the same cookie cutter bi-level over and over (not a fan) I finally came across a place that felt like me. After almost driving my realtor to retirement, I purchased a 3 level condo loft. Don't get me wrong, it was not love at first sight, as the previous owner was a bachelor and the decor was that of a bachelor pad. Imagine: White walls, boxy furniture, weight room, solid colored everything, little decor. Then combine that with my vision: empty canvas, empty rooms, no dishes, no couches, no beds, no nothing! I basically let my imagination run wild. After much time spent on picking out paint colors (Thanks Quinn), endlessly shopping for furniture (thank you to ALL the sales people who put up with my indecisiveness), I now have a place I have absolutely fallen in love with. I've made a promise to myself to not overspend, over buy, or over do anything. As my subconscious always reminds me how happy I was in Hawaii with just the basics. And I plan to keep my house simple yet full of life.

Of course, I did come across a few bumps in my road as I took on the title of "homeowner." I swear it's an unwritten rule or some initiation process that we don't know about. But EVERY new homeowner always goes through some type of drama. Well mine consisted of this: A furnace that went out 12 days after moving in, a hole knocked in my freshly, professionally painted wall by the furniture movers, plugged drains, stained carpets, and my my personal favorite: I spent my first night in a vacant house with wine, pizza corner, 2 sleeping bags, and dixie cups.(the first time I questioned my life donation to Good Will) A great way to spend a first night in my new home. A moment I will never forget. A moment so perfect you don't want it to end. So naturally I took a picture so it wouldn't end. Isn't that what they are for?

Reflections...

So as I sit here in my place, with fireplace lit and candles aglow, I can't help but reflect. Reflect on the life I have grown to know as a nomad. Reflect on the impulse decision to fulfill my dream and become a homeowner. Reflect on how blessed I am to have such a great family and to be close to them. Reflect on how I miss my travel lifestyle and all the amazing people I met. Reflect on how happy I was while living life so simply. Reflect on how I ecstatic I am that my days at the local laundromat are over (Washer and dryer are to be delivered this weekend). And as I come to what should be my last pair of socks to fold, I come up one short. I swear no matter how many times I make sure all my socks enter the wash, I always end up one short of a pair. Even though we never know what really happens to that sock or even miss it for that matter, it's still frustrating not have an even pair at the end of laundry day. Kind of like life sometimes. As I sit here in my warm, inviting house, feeling super blessed, I can't help feel like a part of me is missing... and that part of me involves a suitcase, passport, and friends I've yet to meet.

Maybe some of us aren't meant to have the white wedding, twin home, or permanent job...but rather, are meant to be a free spirit, leave our mark on this world, and imprints on people's hearts.

Stuck somewhere between a gypsy and a significant other, an Auntie and a Bachelorette, my dreams abroad, and my heart at home, I am lost in thought as I stare at my reflection in the mirror and am reminded of my past, my present, and perhaps my future. Waiting. Wondering. Anticipating. What's next?

Tonight: Take time to reflect and perfect what it is you want in your life. Maybe you already have it or maybe you need to set sail and go get it. A secret only you and the mirror will ever really know.

"You've Been...Island Struck"

"You've been Thunderstruuuckk" "THUNDERSTRUUCK!"

During mid run, mid breathe, mid warming up my tone deaf vocals, I found myself once again lost in the moment.  "Thunderstruck!!....." Yep, I guess I really did belt that out louder than anticipated as I noticed a few people giving me the stink eye. Embarrassed? Maybe a little. But, I instantly found myself smiling so big I couldn't help but chuckle out loud. "THUNDERSTRUCK!!...THUNDERSTRUUCKK" soon the stink eye was replaced with a smile of their own.

A song that will forever remind me of home, having bonfires out in the country, and headbanging in the basement of 901 College St in Fargo. Memories I won't soon forget. Funny how a song can instantly spark a memory. Bring a twinkle to an eye. A devilish grin to the most innocent face.

With the sun beating down on my black tank top, my lips tasting of bath and body works minty lip gloss, and my skin feeling like I rolled around in a salt tank after freshly stepping out of the the shower (I swear my sweat here is 99% salt with a hint of mist) I found myself caught in a trance of admiring the kayak team's morning practice and me pondering my future. " You've been.....ISLANDSTRUCK.....ISLAND STRUUCK!" And with that, the locals laughed with me.

And with that, I found myself pondering about the last four and a half months. The longer I thought, the more "Island Struck" I became. I still have moments where I think I am dreaming. It seriously is that beautiful here. I have gazed at some of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen, frolicked in some of the bluest water I have ever stepped foot in, appreciated some of the most stunning waterfalls I have ever admired, stood atop one of the highest mountains in the world (and coldest!!), listened to some of the most angelic love songs I have ever been mesmermized by, picked some of the most delicate flowers I have ever touched, cherished some of the most graceful hula dancing I have ever seen,  drank some of the best coffee my lips have ever tasted, ate some of the sweetest pineapple my tongue has ever watered for, and best of all--embraced the simplicity of life here. Family trumps all, followed closely by the pride of Mother Nature and the beauty she possesses.

Mauna Kea: 14,000 feet, the highest mountain in the world. And yes, that is snow.

More from Mauna Kea: it was so cold my hands went numb!! Car said 25. With a 40 mph...felt right at home.

I have experienced the sun. The wind. The rain. The SNOW. Earthquakes. Lava. Black sand. White sand. Gold sand. Green sand.

Green Sands

Whales. Dolphins. Turtles.

Camping. Rodeos. Hikes.

Love hikes like this. Beauty. Meaning. Serenity.

I have lived in a 20x20 kennel (yes you can measure this by laying down and estimating.) My friend Carrie and I lined up head to toe-head to toe (x4.5 times) and used our 5'3 statures to estimate just how big my 20x20 would be. To my surprise, it's quite a reliable method of measurement; much how men seem to know the exact length from their pinky finger to their thumb with hand extended. Driven and and now OWN the most cheap, unreliable car I have ever laid eyes on. Not a single gauge works: no gas gauge, speedometer, or odometer. Heck, it didn't even come equipped with a radio. Proud? Absolutely! 1994 Nissan Sentra Baby!!!

"BLUE": All for the same price as a pair of True Religions

Ah, Hawaii. Although, I must admit, after the initial "Island Bliss", I did go through a period where I was looking forward to going home. As with all this beauty does come a few drawbacks. Shopping, restaurants, reliable cars, and isolation immediately come to mind. No Bath and Body Works, no Pizza Corner (this is seriously the longest I have ever gone without one), restaurants, even pizza delivery closes at 8 pm, bars really don't exist, and when Walmart runs out of candles, batteries, Diet Coke....they are just out. End of story. Wait until the next shipment comes in Sista. Temper tantrums need not apply.

My pizza addiction has temporarily been replaced with a burrito fix, my cheese cravings have been replaced with a homemade salsa obsession, my Carribou buzz with a Kona coffee high, and my butterfinger blizzard craze with flavor burst ice cream. Still have the Dove chocolate problem. And a new one: flowers! They are everywhere and i LOVE them. The orchids and plumerias I can't help stare at. Thank God my Middle Sister Red Wine is always in full stock on the shelves. Guess the locals aren't much for red wine. Oh well, more for me!!

Island Struck.

Life as I know it has been simplified. I have only been to the shopping center twice since arriving, once to go Christmas shopping and once to replace my slippers (formerly known as flip-flops in my vocab). I have not seen an entire episode of any TV show: the Bachelor, American Idol, Greys...the News. I have NO idea what's going on in the world and I am actually quite ok with it as I am sure it will still exist upon my return. Automatic what? Automatic nothing. I have transitioned to someone who has to climb in the passenger door, avoid being strangled by the motorized seat belts, just to get in the driver's seat and pray that my car STARTs. I do have a nice padded steering wheel though. The thrill of seeing if my car is going to make it another mile has replaced my American Idol addiction.

Mind you, I have been living out of a suitcase and a half for the last 4 and some odd months (ok, maybe 2.  1 big suitcase and 1 carry-on) I have officially worn every article of clothing I brought 10 times over. Back home, I have been known to change my jeans twice in one day. Pathetic? Maybe. But honest. Funny how I only brought 3 pairs of jeans to Hawaii and have managed just fine. Heck, I could have maybe even gotten by with just 2 pair. 95% of my wardrobe is sitting at home in my closet along with the other 20 pairs of shoes I own. I am sure it would begin to drive me a bit crazy if I let it and really thought about WHERE all my stuff is...but you know what? I can honestly say, I do not miss any of it. A lesson in simplicity I think we should all take note of.

Island Struck. It seems as though I have become quite accustomed to it. I like it. I crave it. I need it. Funny how we all have the opportunity to live like this; yet we choose not to. As the Islands are no different from the mainland. The stress of life still exists. Work, bills, and deadlines coupled with an unreliable car, expensive gas, and no cell reception. One could easily turn into an uptight tourist screaming at the tour guide (witnessed this the other day) yet I feel more at peace than I ever have. Coincidence? I think not. A lesson in perspective I think we could all learn from. Kind of like "Stripped." As I take pride in my car that costs the same as a pair of True Religions, I find myself feeling guilty about my exploding closet at home. Catch me driving my boy "Blue" on the Mainland 6 months ago? Maybe. Today? Without a doubt.

It seems as though my fascination with learning the Spanish language has interfered with my ability to learn some of the Hawaiian language. The main grammar rule is to pronounce all the vowels in the words. Doesn't sound too difficult. Here, you give it a try: we will start simple.

Kinoole (remember, EVERY vowel has a sound)
Kilaueau
Malaaka (Mal-a-auka)
Waianuenue (Why-a-newy-newy)
Kamhameha (Ka-may-a-may-a)
Kalanianaole (still can't say this one right, and I LIVE on this street)

Yep, I still try to use Spanish vowel sounds, roll my tongue, and butcher most words.
Turns out I make it much more difficult than what it needs to be. Kinda like life sometimes.

Another list of words that have come part of my daily lingo:

Auntie/Uncle: This applies to anyone and everyone who appears to be older than you. In the hospital its, "Good morning Uncle. How are you feeling today?" "Hey Auntie, you need anything?"

Papa/Grandma/Tutu: anyone that appears to be elderly. "Papa! Are you soa?"

Soa: Pain

Pau: done. finished. "Grandma. You all pau with breakfast?" "It's 7:15, I'm all pau for the day." (My favorite)

Pupus: free local appetizers at the bar.

Slippers: flip flops. Any form of sandal.

Shi shi: urine.

Dodo: poop.

Piko: means hole. Bellybutton, rectum. I still can't remember which is which, just a piko is a hole in the body and I always hope I am going after the right one!

And of course, Aloha and Mahalo.

Here is a sample list of what I was given in hospital orientation for cultural preparation:

"IslandStruck"  "ISLANDSTRUUUCK!"

Ink. Tattoos. Macademia nuts. Pineapples. Coconuts. Malasadas. Rice. Sausage. Mongooses. Fishing. Surfing. Paddle boards. Slippers. Steinlager. Beach mats. Flowers. Leis. Coffee. Waterfalls. Sand. Sacredness... the faster my mind raced, the faster my asics hit the pavement.

It's all become a huge part of my life. But so is ND. Should I stay? Should I go? While my Asics took a beating from the pavement, my mind continued to race.

What about all my stuff at home?

Sweat dripping in my eyes. Burning. Tears. Tears of happiness. Tears of sadness. Tears of joy. Tears of pain.

As I continued on my run, with the ocean to my right, and a beautiful Japanese garden to my left, I found myself unable to shut off my mind. The further I ran, the more the wheels turned. So much that my mind was and still is a jumbled mess. After all the 'ups' and 'downs' of living in Hawaii, I am beginning to feel like I am at 'home' here. I have finally started to earn some respect at work, developed friendships, and am slowly figuring my way around the Island loop. Absolutely loving the scenery, settling in to the lifestyle, and adapting the cultural differences. Yet, I have days where I miss home more than anything and long for familiarity. I feel a bit bi-polar to say the least.

As my run came to an end, my racing mind was interrupted by a familiar beep. One of a new email with subject line: Fargo, ND. With sweat dripping down my face, my black tank top now being used as a hand towel on my sandpaper complexion I continued to read... "RN travel job opportunity in Fargo, ND." I felt my heart skip-a-beat. A beat so strong I am quite certain I did a double fist pump and donkey kick. Tears of sweat. Tears of joy. Tears of sadness. I reread it to be certain of what I was reading was real. "RN travel opportunity in Fargo, ND...start date around the end of April."

Coincidence??? I think not...but how's a girl to say "Aloha" when she's not ready go?

Caught somewhere between Hawaii and the Mainland, Island Struck and Thunder Struck, my heart is having a Tropical Storm of it's own...

Simplicity combined with perspective. I think this is the way to living a full, complete life. Yet I am confronted with a decision that is far from simple. Looks as though my Asics are going to be put into overdrive for the next few days. Stay tuned...as I have some big decisions to make.

"Uh huh uh, uh uh uh, uh uh uh uuuhh. Thunder! Uh uh uh uh uh uh, uh uh uuuuhhh. Thunder!!.... You've been thunderstuck!!"

Tonight: Ponder your happiness. Put it in perspective. As I bet it involves the simple things in life: family, friends, road trips, camp fires, afternoon naps.