Paris: Days 1 and 2

Paris Day 1:

Kicked our ass!!! We basically spent the entire day lost. After arriving around 0800 with a jet lag hangover in tow, we caught the metro to the 'vicinity' of where we thought our rental apartment was. Turns out it is quite difficult to make plans to meet a French lady when we have no way to communicate except email!! After lugging around my 30 lbs back pack, in 75 degree weather, sweating my ass off in my jeggings, ready to give up on our French chauffeur, a petite lady comes running through the street yelling, "Bon Jour! Bon Jour!" There is a God!! Our long lost land lady found us. She looked a little mortified when she saw the third person leaning on the wall beside us and exclaimed, "Oh, zere's 3 of zyou?"

 I didn't understand what she meant until we finally reached our cracker box 'apartment' on the top floor of the building. I was so winded by the time I reached the top of the endless, windy, stairwell one would think I had just ran the 100 yard dash while holding my breath. Welcome to our pad for the next 5 days...

Yes, that is a bed for 2!! The door leads to the bathroom.

The Kitchen :) and I thought mine was small...

 After a quick change of clothes, some deodorant, perfume, and a tooth brushing session, we were eager to set out and explore Paris. Needless to say, the only places we managed to find were: The Louvre and Notre Dame. Worth the time spent lost, but so not how I envisioned my first day in Paris.

Oh and we did manage to find the original Mona Lisa painting...

It's 8pm and we were so exhausted we could hardly keep our eyes opened at dinner. Having arrived at 0800 Paris time, with no sleep, no idea how to understand or speak French, ride the train,  or catch the bus, here we sit in our midget sized apartment, feeling rather frustrated. My feet are swollen and blistered (already!), my hair is so greasy it looks wet, my eyes are glazed over in pure exhaustion. As I sit in my dazed out stated, I find myself staring at an old bottle of wine the previous renters left behind. Oh did I mention the bottle is half gone? We don't care, wine is wine. We will drink it. I must admit--I am a bit scared and frustrated tonight. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Cheers to blistered feet, a shower, and the adventure that lies ahead!!

4 French Words I learned today:
1) Bon Jour: Hello
2) Merci: Thank You
3) Sortie: Exit
4) Perdon: Excuse me

4 lessons I learned today:
1. Maps of all kinds are ESSENTIAL! train, bus, city...
2. If we see a wine/liquor store... STOP and buy something! (they are hard to come by)
3. If we see a tourist attraction nearby: go and check it out while there, don't "come back later."
4. Everyone smoke is Paris. PERIOD.

PARIS DAY 2:

Was AMAZING!!! Wow, where to start?? Woke up early today only find out the water has been shut off for 8 hours. WHAT??? Seems how I hadn't showered in 2 days and my hair was already so greasy it looked wet-- I did the next best thing. Turns out, all it takes is a pot, 1 liter of bottled water, and an 'assistant' to suds, rinse, and give myself a bed bath!! Absolutely one of the funniest scenarios I have managed to get myself into in a long time. Still makes me giggle out loud.

First stop after bed bath: Tuilles garden. A peaceful part with numerous water fountains, flowers, and one-of-a-kind people watching. I could've sat there all day long, but was glad I didn't.

From the park, we hoofed it to Arc De Triumph via Elysses.

We paid 9.5 Euro to climb the 284 steps to the top to view the beautiful city of Paris. It was worth every. single. step.

From there we ventured (with my blistered feet in tow) to the Latin District and the PanthEon.
 I forgot to mention, we have semi "mastered" the subway system today. Always such a cool feeling in making the transition from total tourist to 'getting a clue.' Upon leaving the PanthEon, on our way to the Metro station, I decided to stop and use a public 'outhouse' as we would call it in the U.S. Obviously everything is written in French and it is "French" to me, I pushed the green button, a door opened like an elevator (oh boy... everyone knows how much I adore elevators.) I went in, shut the door, popped a squat and started my business... When all of a sudden, the following took place simultaneously: alarms sounding as if I pulled a fire alarm or something, a French computerized voice yelling at me in French, the toilet itself raises and hits me in the bum, water starts spraying and the door opens to the busy street and the people standing in line for the bathroom!!! Oh my God!! So there I am in MID squat, MID pee, dress hiked up, panties around my knees, back pack and camera in tow, sunglasses balancing on the end of my nose, a startled face, scrambling to stop peeing and pull my pants up, as the city of Paris is getting a great view and the joys of laughing at a "Stupid American Tourist". MORTIFYING!! but at the same time, absolutely hilarious!!! It turns out, the outhouse is designed to "clean" itself like a car wash after each person uses it. Hence, why I guess I was supposed to wait to avoid the above. The funny thing was, the ladies behind me did not crack a grin, but instead, were upset, when I didn't go to the END of the line and went back in to finish what I had started!! I just had to go back and get a picture inside this coming of ages outhouse!!

The craziest toilet I've ever encountered. The entire toilet elevates!!

I'm quite certain I giggle all the way to the metro station. Next stop: Eiffel Tower. But first, we had to stop for a beer, buy a bottle of vino, and some snacks. We spent the next several hours at the Eiffel tower, lounging in a park, drinking wine, discussing life, taking pictures, people watching, and just taking in the beauty and serenity of it all from sunset to complete darkness.

I can't believe how far we've come. Yesterday, I felt helpless and scared. Today, I feel full of life and happiness. Some of us are just gypsies in life and fell at home when in the road. After buying an overpriced 2nd bottle of wine, we caught the metro back to our neighborhood, indulged in an amazing pizza, and decied to head home after a fun-filled day. Una problema--we got completely lost!! So bad that I even took out the map and attempted to figure out how to read it!! After walking around the same Arch 4 times, we finally realized we were stalking the wrong Arch!! (we live by a monumental landmark--a huge Arch) Finally after making several wrong turns and making it up the 5 flights of stairs, we have made it home. All the blisters, lines, mishaps, and wrong turns were worth it!! I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings. Pretty sure I am not going to want this trip to end... EVER!!

4 French Words I learned today:
1. Oui: Yes
2. Tabac: cigarettes
3. Poulette: Chicken
4. 1664: French Beer (give me a break... I'm wine buzzed and at a loss of words.)