"Devolviendo"

"Giving back."

Devolviendo. .. sounds prettier in Spanish.

Something I need to do more of. Something we all need to do more of. Something I have always wanted to do, but have never been sure where to start. Where to go? What to do? Who to contact? I have always wanted to do something big. Something out of the ordinary. Something where I can feel good about helping someone who is truly in need of my presence, my knowledge, my skills, my touch. A place where I could not only go to donate my time and service, but also find God and myself in the process. A place of sanctuary found purely in the act of doing good onto others. As I stare into the mirror lost in thought and a dream, I glance at the clock and am immediately torn from my desire of giving back as I realize I am going to be late if I don't get a move on it. And just like that, I am swept into the ND wind, back to reality, back to fighting the never ending battle of not enough time, back to the chronic excuse of being "too busy" or "too tired" to be involved in anything outside my daily work/social life.

Devolviendo. "Giving back"

I have to admit, I have had several deja vu moments where I long to give back, but am quickly deterred for various reasons, with all of these falling into one 'cop out' category: EXCUSES: I can't get work off, I don't have enough money, I don't have enough time, I'd rather go on vacation, I don't have any 'skills', I am not good at anything, I already help enough people by being a nurse (terrible to say, but the thought does cross my mind) and my personal favorite: yearning, longing, begging to feel a PURPOSE in my time spent volunteering. I want to FEEL empowered; as if I am accomplishing a goal at hand and truly impacting an individual less fortunate than myself. Is this possible? Am I being selfish? Maybe.... Am I being unrealistic?? Perhaps...but, I think not.

Devolviendo. 

As I sit here dusting off the pictures looking at me on my fireplace mantle, I can't help but be distracted by the beauty staring back at me. Admiring all the beautiful places I have been, blessed with all the wonderful people in my life, as my eyes well up with tears. Which causes me once again to ponder my purpose in this life.  Having thought I would have been a wife and mother a long time ago, I can't help but feel a bit selfish. Ashamed. Life right now consists of me, my job, and free time. I want more. I crave more. I NEED more. As I continue to dust like I never have never dusted before, I vowed to stop making excuses and start making a conscious effort to change. It's funny how much excuses and dust have in common: they both tend to pile up over time; if we don't consciously make an effort notice them, acknowledge them, and wipe them clean, we may never see that shine that makes our stomach giddy and our hearts tingle. A cleaner's delight; a traveler's dream; A volunteer's ambition.

Devolviendo.

I have always been a believer in life gives us what we need when we need it most... as long as we stop and take the time to notice it. They also say, when you set out to help yourself or find yourself, sometimes, you end up helping everyone else...

Enter Dr Bob Brunsvold. One of those kind-hearted, generous, warm, friendly people, that once you meet, you never forget. The kind of person that inspires you to be a better person, a kinder person, a happier person, a more grateful person. The kind of person I hope to be someday.

Dr Bob: An anesthesiologist that filled in when our main Dr needed time off. I met Dr Bob while working at a nursing job I quite hated, to be completely honest with you, I despised it. But, had I never worked that job I dreaded going to every day, I would have never met Dr Bob. And had I never met Dr Bob, I would not be able to experience this incredible journey I am about to embark on.

Our Fearless Leaders: Dr Bob and his wife, Vicky

Enter SALTS.

"Saving A Life Through Service." SALTS.

A team led missionary trip to Shell, Ecuador, where me, along with 30 or so college students, will offer our services to:

Casa De Fe: A haven for abandoned and special needs children in the heart of the Amazon.  Basically a home for the "unwanted children of the rain forest." To put it bluntly: an orphange.

Casa Gabriel and Casa Adalia: a home for street boys and girls rescued from the sex trade.

La Clinica San Lorenzo: provide medications and assist in the operations of the local health clinic.

Construction: building a village for the children of Casa De Fe

Devolviendo.

I'm not going to lie, I found myself to be, and still am, a mixture of emotions. While I have done my fair share of traveling, even going alone, I have never done something like this before, in this type of setting. The idea is not to go out and seek fun and beauty, but to work and take care of the needs of those surrounding you. Quite the opposite of a typical American Vacation. Although, I have pondered more than I care to admit about volunteering abroad and satisfying my need to travel while serving a purpose. Why wouldn't I? It's kind of like killing two birds with one stone. That, and I have always wanted to go to South America. Perfect!! So when I received that email asking if I wanted to be a part of Team Ecuador, without even thinking, I immediately wrote out my $300 deposit to secure my spot and hand delivered it to Dr Brunsvold's Lake Cabin. That was it. I was "in". Now here I sit, excited, nervous, scared, wondering if I have what it takes to be a part of a missionary??

Enter "Team Leader" aka Me, Lisa Marie Neshem

What?!! I'm not a leader. I can't even read a map, much less direct people on where to go, what to do. Again, I have done a little traveling, but this is going to be a whole new ballgame for me. I actually have to be responsible. Have a plan. Be on a schedule. Be the support for my younger 'colleagues' when the going gets tough or the homesickness sets in. Pick them up when they are down, turn that frown upside down. I have always found joy in the whole randomness of exploration, but this time, I know WHAT we are going to be doing. WHERE we are going. WHO I will be going with. I already know the WHO, the WHAT, the WHEN, and the WHERE which is highly unusual for me. While most find comfort in this, I feel uneasy, almost suffocated. I am going to be one of the oldest people there. Am I responsible enough? Am I going to get homesick? Can I hack it? But people I barely know believe in me... and that, in itself is hopefully enough to get me through. However, I am not gonna lie... I am scared shitless!

Devolviendo.

Which leads me to my next point. I swear a lot, an issue I am currently working on. Wish me luck. But can I survive Bible/missionary "boot camp"?? As they say... time will tell.

I have to be honest, religion is an uneasy topic for me. This will definitely be me stepping out of my comfort zone. While I believe in God, I just have never been able to find that connection I long for with the church. Where I feel at home. At peace. At ease. I always feel a bit out of place. A bit awkward. A bit "evil" compared to the other worshipers. I cuss, I swear, I've been 'bad', I drink more than my fair share of wine, I have done things in the past I am not proud of. I am tone deaf. We will be singing hymns and praying daily. I am not certain Mission Ecuador will fix my tone deafness, but I can pray it will lead me in the direction to find God, peace, and my purpose in life.

  
Enter YOU. My family and friends...

The older I get, the more I realize we all need to ask for help; which is a hard thing to do, as it tends to be a sign of weakness. A deficit. Maybe even defeat.  But as I grow a year older, I also have grown a little wiser. This is me going outside my comfort zone, being vulnerable, and setting out to make a difference ... maybe even a change someone's life. I am smart enough to know I am going to need support. Change is never easy, but I have learned, is always worth the discomfort. And this is where I am asking all of you for your help and support; not only for me, but for the amazing people of Ecuador I am about to meet.

Devolviendo.

As we enter the holiday season, I am asking for help, which tends to be a difficult thing for me to do. I am seeking your donation to help fund my trip, but more importantly, to change the lives of the children we are about to meet. The mission trip is from Feb 19-March 1st and costs about $2000 for airfare, room and board, immunizations, exit visas, and travel within Ecuador. Any donation you can afford, no matter how big or small, would be greatly appreciated and would allow me to fulfill a dream of "giving back" to those who are less fortunate. And I can't help but think I will return as stronger, better version of myself. I promise you, I will use my better self to make a better world. And I can assure you I will write about it and share it right here.

If you are able to support me in this mission, I will be forever grateful. (the money will go directly into Lisa Neshem's fund for Ecuador... Dr Bob is handling all the finances personally) please send your donation to:

SALTS, INC
15507 Wermager Beach Road
Lake Park, MN 56554-9129

EC: Lisa Neshem

SALTS is a nonprofit organization run by Dr Bob and his wife, Vicky.

For more information about this wonderful organization, please visit www.saltsmission.org

Devolviendo.

Help me... Help Them.

 

Munich, Germany: Where Every Hour is Happy Hour

10/19/2013

On the 17th, we hopped a train from Interlaken, Switzerland to Munich; yet another amazing city! I have decided if possible, I am going to stay in all girls dorm rooms instead of the mixed ones. It hopefully will allow me to meet some cool ladies and get a little more rest as women usually tend sleep more soundly and peacefully without all the "man" noises stirring from the bunks.

On the first night, I met 2 girls form New Zealand. We all met up in the hostel bar after check-in. After 3-4 beers, I received my email from Skydive Switzerland verifying my pictures were ready to be viewed. I immediately left the bar in search of a computer. I was dying to see the pictures to assure me that I really did jump and it wasn't all just a crazy dream. I spent the next couple hours trying to download them with no success. It took me back to my days of having to wait to open Christmas presents until after dinner and all the dishes were washed and put away. I guess I will have to wait until the next city or perhaps until I return home.

After a typical hostel breakfast, (bread, nutella, and coffee... which I am beginning to crave), I decided to set out and conquer Munich. With map in hand, I ventured to the City Center and joined a free walking tour. The sites proved to be worth the walk. I really feel the pictures speak louder than my words.

Yes, this is a typical day in the middle of the city.

I met a girl from Germany on the tour and we decided to extend our own journey to the Chinese Garden (Bier Garden) and have the traditional beer and pretzel. It is so crazy, they are basically big parks, with picnic tables everywhere, where people serve beer and bread pretzels, people gather and just have a good time. The tables were packed, the beers were good, and the chants made me smile and love it even more.

After sharing a pretzel and having a large Hofbrau each, we parted ways. I was on my own to find my way back to my hostel... which to no surprise, I wasn't exactly sure of the name of it and I had no idea which direction it was from where I was standing. But what I did know was, I had been walking for 3 hours and was was quite certain in my German buzz, that it would take me awhile to get back... and it did.

On my walk back, I encountered a bridge where people surfed year round. It is basically a wave pool. It didn't matter that it was only 50 degrees out; the place was packed and drew a rather large crowds. It made me smile and think about my days in Hawaii...

I proceeded to walk through the ginormous park, encountered a few weddings, scurried my way through the city, stopped for a beer at the Hofbrauhaus, gazed at some of the amazing castles and churches, to where I finally noticed a building that looked familiar--my HOSTEL!! Eeek! Who needs a map anyway??

As I entered the hostel, I was quickly greeted with a beer, some pizza, and live music. As it turns out, the hostel was celebrating 15 years of being open. The music was fantastic, the people were friendly, and the dancing was magnetic. The music consisted of 2 sisters, their voices, and their instruments. Mesmerizing was an understatement. As I was waiting for my Hofbrau at the bar, I ran into a guy that stayed at the same hostel I stayed at in Zurich. How small of a world is that? That is what is truly amazing about traveling, one finds out just how small this great big world is. I spent the night meeting other travelers, swapping stories, sharing our love of music and dancing... as they truly are the universal language. I met people from Australia, Japan, China, Italy, New Zealand, Germany, France, California... Once again, I ate too much, drank my fair share, and stayed out way to late, but I met some unforgettable souls and that's what makes my heart tingle. This truly is a life dream of mine. I can't believe little ol' me is actually doing it!  Tomorrow morning we leave for Vienna, Austria. While I am not ready to leave Munich, this backpacker must keep moving.

To sum up my brief time in Germany:
It reminds me of Barcelona because the people are SO happy, fun, and they like to party!
Life is much cheaper here than Switzerland, beer is only 2 Euro!
Jaywalking is illegal. If you are caught, you earn yourself a 200 Euro fine.
Lots of beautiful parks.
The people really take pride in their culture and history. 
I need to attend Octoberfest here; adding it to the bucket list as I speak.
And the beer is delicious!!

Falling For... Switzerland!

10/13/2013

After a very long day of traveling, we started our day in Athens, jumped a flight to Milan, Italy, from there we barely made an oversold train to our final destination of the day to Zurich. This marks the halfway point in our trip which means we have no reservations from here on out and it also marks the first time having to use our Eurorail pass; which is proving to be more confusing that anticipated. We are required to purchase reservations before we are allowed on the train as they only allow so many seats to be used as Eurorail passes... which we quickly figured out are not enough. Here we sit,  in the restaurant car, with no reservations, no validated ticket (which is a huge no, no) and no seats. We may end up paying a huge fine and find ourselves sitting on the cold, metal steps for the next 5 hours. Gonna cross my fingers, put on my poker face, order some food, and attempt to look like I belong here.  With all the plains, trains, and buses, we have not had a chance to eat. Starving, I look at the menu, only to find out that they are sold out of everything except a dry salad and some stale bread. Par for the day.

Finally we have made it to Zurich!! Thankfully our search for a hostel was short; as the last thing I wanted to do now was wander around the city, in the dark, with my 30 lbs pack. Luckily, one of the first places we stopped at, Langstars, had a room a mixed dorm of 12 available. We don't care, we will take it!!  The hostel is situated above a cool little bar.... Hippie meets Hawaiian. I fell in love with it. However, our room was quite a different scenario. We ended up bunking with 10 men and me. Even after an extremely long day of travel, sleeping was not even an option.  This whole trip when we have stayed in a mixed dorm, it ends up being me and all men. The snoring, farting, and scratching, have really put a damper on my beauty sleep!! Combine that with 2 showers and 1 toilet, it's about enough to put a pms-ing girl over the edge!

On Monday, we walked around Old Town and then Decided to take a cable care up to Utelberg, (small mountain overlooking Zurich.) We met Bryan, a guy from South Dakota, who was staying in our hostel. Turns out he knows my cousin and several people I went to college with at NDSU. Small world!! Bryan joined us on our cable ride journey, turned 6 mile unplanned hike due to being just a tish lost. :)  More blisters, but worth the amazing view of Zurich.

10/15/2013

Beep, beep, beep. Ding, Ding, Ding musical serenades reminded me it was 0700, even thought I was up most of the night listening to the melodic snoring of 10 men. That combined with a hot, sticky room is enough to make any girl a bit crabby. Any who, off to Interlaken we go aka the center for sky-diving, para-sailing, hiking... all fabulous, all super expensive, all weather dependent.Today we caught a bus, train and 5 cable cars to Schilnoff (2nd highest point in Europe) It was -10 C and snowing, so the view was nonexistent at best. While atop, we met a couple from Boston, whom we went to the Thundenn waterfalls with. They had a stash of wine in their backpacks, so we stopped for a social before catching the bus. Such awesome people one meets when traveling!!I just can't imagine my parents doing a European getaway, but Ive met tons of people in their 60-70s doing just that. My goal is to be like them when I am older and wiser.

Dinner consisted of a quick stop at the supermarket and a bottle of wine. Here I sit, in the basement of our hostel doing laundry. While it's the last thing I want to be doing right now, but it's been 3 weeks since I left and this is the first time washing my clothes. They smell from the humidity in Spain, Greece, and France as well as from just being dirty!! Cheers to clean clothes and hopes of not being allergic to the laundry detergent here. That would be my luck!

10/16/2013

Life changing day!!! Woke up around 0700, took a nice warm shower for the first time in a week, enjoyed a traditional European breakfast of toast, nutella, yogurt, granola and coffee. The forecast predicted rain so the plan was to wander around the city and see where life would take us.

Everything changed when we woke up to clear skies and sunny weather. As I read the daily quote in front of my cafe macchiato: "Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that literally saves their lives."

It was in that moment, a skydiving flyer caught the corner of my eye. Hmmm..... 395F to jump out of an airplane over the Swiss Alps. My heart did multiple skip-a-beats, my stomach had butterflies, my heart fluttered more: Should I? Could I? Can I? What if I chicken out? What if I shit my pants? What if my chute doesn't open? What if? What if? What if? Is it worth the 395F? After about a half an hour of going back and forth, I thought about WHY I came to Europe, why I went on this journey, taking risks and just going for it. I decided on a "Yes, I Do". A commitment phobe of sorts came out in me, As once my credit card was swiped, there was NO refund. Either jump or be out a lot of money. The van was scheduled to come pick us up around noon. That gave me exactly 1 hour 15 minutes to freak out. I'm quite certain I went to the bathroom 15 times, paced the hallways enough to break a sweat, my heart racing the entire time. HOLY shit!!! I am really going to do this. Me!! The same person who won't ride an elevator is going to jump out of an airplane at 13000 feet.

After almost wearing out the soles on my shoes and heart shaking from all the fluttering, the van had arrived. From there, we proceeded to pick up an additional 7 wary jumpers. All from India, all super cool people. Upon arriving to the hanger, we were given a 10 minute lesson, signed some some safety waivers if something should go wrong they were not responsible (oh boy), it was finally time to get our jump suits on and get harnessed. One more stop at the bathroom and it was "go time." or was it? I'm not the best listener when I am anxious. What was I supposed to do again?? Where was I supposed to put my arms? what does the tap on the right shoulder mean? EEEKKK!!

Tim, from New Zealand, was the lucky man strapped to my back. Charming, friendly, calm, cute in a mysterious way. Yeee! Ok, so there we sat for the 20 minute flight to reach our jumping point of 13,000 feet. The temp was -5 C at that level. Oddly, I wasnt too nervous at this point. There was no backing out, no turning back. All was in God's hands and Tim's lap!! And that's when he said, "Your up. You are going to be the crash test dummy for the rest of the jumpers." Oh my, oh my!! Holy Crap!! I am really going to jump out of this plane! Wait!!! What was I supposed to do again? Where do I put my hands? My legs? As we crept towards the open door and looked down, everything went silent. I took a deep breath and just let go. Let go of control. My thoughts. My feelings. My doubt. Let all guard down and just free falled for 45 seconds at 120 mph.... One of the most freeing and timeless moments of my life. I was lost in the beauty of the Alps, Tim's charming accent, living in the second. Wow!! This is how we should all live life every day! Free of everything! Beauty, excitement, passion, a rush, a wish, a dream, a moment where time feels as though it's stopped. Falling...Feeling...Living...Falling...

What was that? Did I just fall out of my harness???? Nope... My parachute popped open and it felt like we were being catapulted back up into the sky, followed by a spin, a roll, and a dive. Ahhhhhh!!! Suddenly I woke up from my dreamy gaze and was scared!! Holy shit!! We are still in the air!!! My brief moments of serenity were interrupted by reality. I am still in the air falling at high speeds towards a snow capped mountain!! And its cold!! And I have spit all over my face, tears in my eyes, a permi-grin, and a check on my bucket list!! Eeeeeeek!!! Overwhelmed with emotions.

Meanwhile, Tim is taking pictures, has my back, is making me feel safe, brave, and on top of the world. I pondered for a split second about how that's exactly what I am praying for in a relationship...when my thought were interrupted by the ground. Holy crap!! We are almost down. Remind me again what my job is with landing? We came to the ground, I tipped back and put my legs up as high as I could get them, and the next thing I knew my butt was hitting the ground. It was over. One of the biggest rushes and sense of empowerment I have ever experienced. Completely going outside my comfort zone and just going for it. I am still on an adrenaline high. I now understand how addicting this could become. Total time from jump to finish was less than 8 minutes. But those 8 minutes changed my life. I conquered one of my biggest fears. If I can jump out of an airplane, ANYONE can! A great reminder of one of life's most important lessons, "we" can do anything we put our minds to.

Afterwards, with perma-grin intact, I stopped at an Irish bar for a few drinks. It was the first time in 3 weeks I had spent some time alone. I need that. I crave that. I've missed that time of solitude. Feeling blessed and just taking in all the beauty I am surrounded by. Lost in thought, shivering with emotion, I hear a charming accent. It's Tim!! We shared a beer, some life stories, and went our separate ways. People truly are the reason I get up everyday. They intrigue me. Inspire me. Motivate me.

Now here I sit, bottle of vino in hand, cork signed, in my pjs... I feel alive. Blessed. And refreshed. Switzerland will forever hold a special warmth in my heart. With that, I am anxiously awaiting to see my skydive video accompanied by Pink's lyrics of "Try".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTCDVfMz15M&feature=kp


Fitting. With the lyrics bringing me to tears, I thought again about that moment of feeling safe, brave, on top of the world, in a stranger's arms... and thinking it's time I get back up and try to throw my heart back out in to the world. Hoping there's a prince ready and waiting on the other end to catch it. Protect it. and Keep it forever...

FINALLY... my skydive video... hope it drives you to do something you've always wanted to do.

http://www.hightail.com/download/OGhmeEVUSEJwcFZBSXNUQw